all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
