I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
