Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
it's like heaven, but drunker
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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