Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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