mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
