Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
