He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
