What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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