is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
