break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
