Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
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