sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
