dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
