Nicole vs. Life
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize