this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
