I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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