Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
