like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
