his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
