I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
