just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
