I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
