I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize