Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
