kristin has been a bad kristin
I bet he comes in French.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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