wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
