Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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