Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize