Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
