I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
The ass gains better be worth it
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