he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
