i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize