i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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