before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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