If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
