is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
All I want is dick and wine.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
