you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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