you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
