Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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