Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
