Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
