I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
