I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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