i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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