how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
