Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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