you would pick up someone in the library
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
