I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
