Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
