she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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