did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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