I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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