The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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