i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
we should paint friendship bongs
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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