two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
