I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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