I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
