You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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