It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize