You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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