I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Randomize
