she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize