That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
