everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
