he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
ttyl tear gas
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
