windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
