Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
should my penis look like a turkey
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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