so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
My vagina just recognized that song.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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